30 Mar “Your Not That Big Of A Deal”
“You’re not that big of a deal”… a bit harsh? Hear us out!
Competition training can be a very selfish, vain sport! Many girls become very fit, which can sometimes cause them to think differently about themselves– they may place themselves on a pedestal. The last think we want is for you to become one of those girls, so please keep in mind: You’re not that big of a deal.
We get a lot of questions and comments on how to deal with family and friends during competition training. We have been at this for over 15 years now, so most people around us “expect” the: packing your own food, eating out of tupperware, and waking up at 5am to get your workout in, from us. However, when we first started competitions (back in 2001) we did get a lot of push back from those around us and even lost friends over our decision to compete. Comments like ” so what have the twins been doing besides looking good and making the rest of us look bad”, OR “you guys are already fit/small why do you want to look any better?” We decided to ignore these girls and to rock to our own beat. On the contrary, we were lucky to have very supportive family that encouraged us that we can do anything we set our minds to.
Something we always did was not make ourselves or competing a big deal! Staying humble is key here!
Tips to help you along the way:
* When you bring your own food to eat DO NOT make a scene about heating it up and DO NOT say things like, “OH..I can’t have that because I’m competing and my coach will get mad”… this will make people resent you! Our advice is to eat before you get together with friends, and kindly say “no thank you” to food that is served. Don’t make the event about you.
* Pack food when visiting your family and DO NOT make it a big deal. Have everything prepared/cooked before hand so you don’t use up any kitchen space. Eat alone if you have to so it doesn’t consume dinner conversation. Again, don’t make this time about you!
* Don’t brag about how small you are/or are getting! Friends and family members notice how much your body is changing, they don’t need to be reminded. Always stay humble and thank them if they do throw a complement your way!
* Don’t complain to your family/friends about what you HAVE to do or what you CAN’T eat! Bottom line…you chose to do this so you need to deal with the consequences. This is a golden rule in our homes! You will never hear us complaining about how much working out we have to do or that we can’t eat
this or that, because we chose to do this and punishing your family with our choices do not make things any better! They will have a very hard time supporting you if you ever decide to go through this process again. Bottom line: Don’t complain & stay humble.
* Stay focused on the end goal! You should be doing this for yourself, ONLY. We know this is a hard one and it’s easier said than done…but focus on it daily.
* Forget about things that you can’t control. For example: you can’t control how your friends will react to you competing in a show, you can’t control how your mom or dad will feel about you being up on a stage, etc. What you can control is how you respond and conduct yourself throughout the process! Practice your posing so your stage presence is perfect! Don’t make a big deal about what you eat in front of those friends that don’t like the idea of the sport! In the end you will be shocked how many lives you touched and people you inspired along the way. Some of your worst critics may be your strongest allies. You are the ultimate personal to control your success and failure to this sport/life! Don’t blame others for your faults because it’s all up to you!
* Last but not least: don’t expect everyone (significant others and family) to understand why you want to go through this process or compete! This can be very difficult to understand and they may never “get it”. Just try to ask for their support (even if it’s support from afar). Something that happens in my family: Our husbands watch our girls for us while we go compete. He says “this is your thing, so you go do your thing and I’ll support you from home”. To this day he has never seen me compete. I’m okay with that! It’s our little family agreement and I get to do “my thing”!